( This is the transcription of an actual radio conversation between the British and the Irish of the coast of Kerry , October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations. )


IRISHlease divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.

BRITISH:Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision.

IRISH:Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

BRITISH:This is the captain of a Brotishnavy ship. I say again divert YOUR course.

IRISH:Negative. I say again you will have to divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE HMS BRITTANNIA ! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS. THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. i SAY AGAIN THAT IS 15 DRGREES NOETH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

IRISH:We're a lighthouse. Your call.